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I searched online and found an ordinary-looking couple I thought would suit us to begin with.

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Since this experience (which we have not repeated), I haven't been able to look at my wife in the same way. You're looking for an advertisement that says something like, "She's svelte, stacked, and sexy.

He's fat, bald, hung like a gnat, and suffering from erectile dysfunction." How sweet for your wife, whom you coerced into this, that the male member of your "ordinary couple" ended up being an oversized piston.